"Clean pain" is the pain that people feel when they are honestly looking at and taking responsibility for their trauma, behavior, patterns, relationships etc. And are able to stand in integrity with their healing even when it feels scary and uncertain and painful. Dirty pain is when people are acting in their woundedness to avoid responsibility, run from their choices, and hurt others in their desperation to avoid their pain. I'd say that I am experiencing the necessary clean pain to recognize the impact of my actions, and it hurts, but it's okay to feel this way.