My thinking expands and focuses over time, so my thinking doesn't change, but my actions develop. I feel weak a lot of the time because my thinking does not change. If I changed my thinking, I would feel like I was trying to run away from truth, and that doesn't lead to me being happy at all. My mind works like a robot, and I accumulate information and try to adjust my actions to make sense of what is going on. Maybe that sounds really weird.